Sheraz さんのプロフィールExperiments in Livingフォトブログリスト ツール ヘルプ
    7月14日

    Everythings for Sale

    Inspired by a rescent article which referenced a certain german psychopath and a backlash against the seedy world of internet adds i have decided to spend the last half hour trying to weed out some of the more unusual and creative specimens!
     
    A best of follows:
     
    For All Divorced Males
    Have you have recently been divorced by the love of your life and nothing can make you understand why she left you? Hire me to live with you for a minimum of a year, by the end of the 12th month, I will have figured out why she left you. Included will be a 10-page scientific report outlining each reason to its fullest capacity, and how to correct these male gender character flaws.
    Contact:  Dragonslayer@...
     
    Your Very Own Day
    For the completely reasonable sum of $75 I will, on the date of your choosing, celebrate YOU for the day and continue the tradition anually for the remainder of my natural life. On that day I will take off work (if applicable and professionally convenient); offer prayers, praise, and toasts in your name; decorate my environment for the holiday; and if possible convince my friends to go out for drinking and revelry in celebration of YOU on YOUR DAY. Notice: To add value and completely nix the chance that I get 365 or more replies, I will only accept one (1) offer, on a first-paid, first-celebrated-annually-for-the-rest-of-my-life basis. Serious offers only; no serial rapists, child molesters, warmongering heads of state or anyone else whose black deeds would otherwise jeopardize what passes for my soul by asking that I celebrate your presence on Earth.
    Contact: Omar@...
     
    Shout insults at Amerika
    Yes, due to my close proximity to the U.S.A., I will stand on a hill, and shout insults at the country in general. Left to my own devices, they would usually take the form of political slurs, calling them the greatest threat to world peace, mindless over-consumers, and generally call into question their choice of leaders. This I would gladly do for the bargain price of $1.00. per insult.  Specific insults, of a non-threatening nature can also be negotiated.
    Contact: Owanaedu@...
     
    I won't do anything worth while. Watch me waste space!
    i will sit around and moan about the state of our country while claiming dole in two different names. this money will then be invested in a local bookmakers. while moaning about the state of my country, i will on occaisonstop and moan about other countries, and about how they are ruining ours. CAUTION: anyone who is not white, has a job, some degree of education, or some common fucking sense may not appreciate this.
    Contact: Neil@...
      
    Paranoid?
    Think everyone is out to get you? Think people are talking behind your back? Well they probably are. For just £50 a week I will feed your paranoia. Every time you get the feeling that somebody is after you I will re-assure you that this is indeed the case no matter that the evidence probably says otherwise. I will also dispense advice (usually suggesting an over elaborate and violent pre-emptive strike against anyone who looks at you "a bit funny"). Three re-assurances and two pieces of advice a week maximum.
    Contact: Junk monkey@....
     
    How to steal from University Libraries - an Insiders guide
    At University but can't afford the exhorbitant price of text books and othe learning materials? I CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO STEAL BOOKS WITH CONSUMATE EASE! I have worked in a University Library for ten years. I am bitter because I am regularly passed over for promotion and would love to exclusively reveal flaws in the alarm systems attached to books: WITH MY SYSTEM THEY CAN'T TOUCH YOU! I can divulge: -Where the sensors are located -Why DVDs are a piece of piss to steal -Foolproof tips on stealing computer - Erotic library encounters All I ask is that you tell me about your success stories. Email me now and I will also furnish you with tales of S&M ecstasy amongst the microfiche collection.
    Contact: Massivehands@...
     
    *if you want to find out what the real email addys are !
     

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